Life as a fat person is certainly NOT easy, and I have been in one for almost all my life.
I was not born fat, but I certainly couldn’t remember when I was NOT fat. I am always referred as a fat person (hmm, that’s a lot of FAT in two sentences, anyway.), I don’t know why, because if I looked at my old pictures I can honestly say that I was not.
When I was in high school, I weighted 50 kg. Was that fat? I would say now, NOT. But I actually hungout with someone who was 45kg and the most popular girl in the school, so, yes, my friend made me the FAT friend.
Now, I am still FAT, and is still considered as the FAT person in the room.
It is not easy being fat, why? Because when you enter a room, you hope so much that people wouldn’t notice, or you’re praying that people will not make a comment on how fat you are, or you’re constantly avoiding a conversation on how and what you should eat.
Shut up already, I am 34 years old and I like the internet. Don’t you think I would know all the things I need to do so that I can transform to be a skinny woman?
Been there, done that. Did it work? At one point, it did work, I shed some kilos - but somehow I have them again.
Being fat, doesn’t change who I am. I am still one of the most confident people you’ve ever met. I still have all my dreams, and am still working very hard to get it. I still love all my friends, willing to listen to their problems and stand by them when they need me. My brain is still the same brain (stupid or not), fat or not.
It is certainly not easy being fat. When I was in college, I have gone through so much name-calling that I felt like killing myself. It was frustrating, if I didn’t have my parents and sisters who adore me, I am pretty sure that you won’t be reading this writing now. It was so devastated that if I am allowed to drink alcohol, I would be an alcoholic due to stress. But, I just fought back, and I always have Allah SWT to turn to whenever I am down.
Why am I suddenly writing this? Because these few months, I met someone who actually likes to make a comment about the way I look. Even among friends, I don’t like talking about it, it’s just a sensitive matter for me. When my friends start doing this, I tried to smile and then smoothly changed the topic.
So, yup, at this age, I still meet a bully. It is painful, no matter how much people told me to just walk away and ignore it, I can’t. This is my pain.
I don’t go to reunions, and even visit several releatives because that’s all they can comment about - on how much weight I have gained! WHY? Can’t you say anything else? Like long time no see, how are you? Your blouse looks neat on you - or if you don’t have anything nice to say, just smile and shut up.
Even the most confident fat person, I am sure they don’t like to be called fat. Why? because we’re struggling with it from the moment we wake up, and having people comment on it, is certainly not making it easy.
So friends, next time you want to comment on how fat a person is, think about your pain for a minute and how would you feel when people mentioned that to you? How would you feel?
Because even if the fat person smiles, she’s still hurt inside.